Suicide prevention is often thought of in terms of the obvious moments like recognizing a student is in suicide crisis and connecting them with the appropriate support. Those actions are critical, but prevention begins long before a crisis occurs. It happens in the everyday interactions that build trust, reduce stigma, and help students know that it is safe to ask for help.
One of the most important aspects of suicide prevention is reducing stigma, which requires being intentional about the language you use when talking about suicide. The words you choose in everyday conversations about suicide can communicate understanding and support, or they can unintentionally reinforce judgment, shame, and silence.
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Why Words Matter to Anyone at Risk of Suicide
Language does more than communicate information. It shapes beliefs, influences attitudes, and helps determine whether people feel safe talking about difficult experiences. The language used by adults can make difficult topics about suicide and mental health easier to discuss openly.
Following best practices when talking about suicide not only reduces stigma for students, but also removes barriers that prevent caring adults from speaking up. When educators understand how to talk about suicide, they often feel more confident to
- initiate conversations
- respond to concerns
- connect students with support
Even when words are not intended to be stigmatizing, they can still be received that way. Terms that imply blame, weakness, or failure can reinforce the shame that many people experiencing suicidal thoughts or mental health challenges already carry. Shame can be a powerful barrier to asking for help, making it less likely that someone will share what they are experiencing or reach out before a crisis develops.
Consider, for instance, the rise of teenage boys caught in online sextortion scams. A young person who has been tricked, blackmailed, or harassed will likely experience fear, embarrassment, or shame. If they also think the adults around them will respond with judgment, asking for help can become overwhelming. Like other significant stressors, sextortion can dramatically impact a student’s wellbeing and, for some students, may lead to suicidal thoughts or even actions.
Person-centered, respectful language won’t undo that shame on its own, but it’s one of the few things a school controls directly. Language can be the difference in whether a student feels safe enough to talk and ask for help from any trusted adult or parent.
4 Best Practices for Talking about Suicide
Many educators want to help but fear making things worse by not knowing the right thing to say. The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention notes in its Language Matters guidance, “One effective way to reduce stigma is by changing the way we talk about suicide. Even small adjustments in our language can have a significant impact.”
1. Acknowledge That Suicide Is Complex
When talking about suicide, avoid attributing a death to a single cause, such as bullying, a breakup, poor grades, or one difficult event. Research by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention consistently shows that suicide is complex and rarely results from one factor alone. Instead, it typically involves a combination of biological, psychological, social, and environmental influences.
Oversimplifying suicide can unintentionally spread misinformation, reinforce stigma, and create false assumptions about why someone died. Recognizing the complexity of suicide helps us better understand risk and protective factors, identify warning signs, and support those who may be struggling.
Most importantly, it reminds us that suicide prevention isn’t about looking for one cause. It’s about creating multiple opportunities to notice distress, building connection, and helping someone access support.
2. Talk About Suicide Without Blame
Although the phrase “committed suicide” is still widely used, best practices have moved away from it. “Committed” is used when talking about crimes (“committed murder” or “committed theft”), which unintentionally reinforces shame and blame.
Alternatively, saying “died by suicide” or “took their life” recognizes suicide as a cause of death and aligns with other ways people talk about death without attaching shame or stigma.
3. Describe Suicide Attempts Accurately
It’s best to avoid phrases like “failed suicide attempt” or “successful suicide attempt.” These descriptions unintentionally assign value to life or death in ways that are neither accurate nor helpful. The better option when referring to an actual attempt to take one’s life is to say “suicide attempt” or “died by suicide.”
| Avoid Saying | Best Practice Phrase |
|---|---|
|
Committed suicide |
Died by suicide |
|
Failed suicide attempt |
Suicide attempt or attempted suicide |
|
Successful suicide attempt |
Died by suicide |
You don’t have to be perfect in your conversations with a student in crisis. Being willing to learn and choose language that is respectful and person-centered sends an important message: this is a safe place to talk.
Those small changes may seem insignificant, but they help reduce stigma, build trust, and make it more likely that someone will ask for help when they need it most.
4. Choose Encouraging Language Over Judgment
It’s easy to unintentionally place judgment when talking about students and suicide. A common example of language formed by judgment is saying a student is seeking attention by threatening suicide. This is entirely dismissive of their experience and demonstrates to listeners that asking for help is self-serving.
A better way to communicate about a student’s intentions is to say the student is communicating that they’re in distress. That shift matters for two reasons:
- It signals that any mention of suicide should be taken seriously.
- It reframes the behavior as something to understand rather than something to correct.
The words you use don’t just shape how students hear you. They also reflect how you think about a student’s behavior. When a student expresses suicidal thoughts or engages in concerning behavior, it’s critical to avoid language that assumes motive or intent.
Choose language that reflects curiosity, compassion, and a genuine desire to understand instead.
| Instead of Assuming | Consider Saying | Why It Matters |
|---|---|---|
|
They are looking for attention. |
They are communicating distress. |
Every expression of suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously. |
|
They are manipulating people. |
I wonder what they are trying to communicate or what need is going unmet. |
Responding with curiosity instead of judgment invites more discussion. |
|
Here we go again. |
This student may still need support, even if this isn’t the first time. |
Repeated concerns should never be dismissed. |
|
Why are they doing this to me? |
This isn’t about me. It’s about the student’s pain and need for support. |
Keeps the focus on the student rather than the adult’s frustration. |
What Suicide Prevention Language Looks Like in Schools
Improved language around suicide doesn’t change a school’s culture if it’s only mentioned once a year in suicide prevention compliance training. It has to show up consistently wherever adults and students talk about mental health, or else it quietly reverts back to whatever words were already familiar.
Here are six areas where schools can improve how staff and students talk about suicide.
- Staff training. Teach what to say and why it matters, so the shift from “attention-seeking” to “communicating distress” becomes automatic instead of something a teacher has to remember mid-conversation.
- Policies and protocols. Go back through the documents that guide how a school responds to a crisis and make sure the language there matches best practices. When the language in policies and protocols doesn’t match what staff are taught, it can undermine the consistency schools are trying to build.
- Conversations with families. Consistency matters just as much as content. A parent who hears careful, nonjudgmental language from a counselor but judgmental language from an administrator at the same school, they will notice the difference. Inconsistent language can affect trust and make an already difficult conversation even harder.
- Classroom discussions. Health curriculum, guest speakers, and even the way a teacher responds to an offhand comment are all ways that teach students something about whether something is a safe topic to share or not.
- Providing resources. Students should know what resources they can access during or after the school day. The Crisis Text Line 741741 provides support for struggling students, but it’s also helpful for students concerned about a friend.
- Postvention communication. After a suicide event is where language matters most and is hardest to get right, because grief makes people reach for whatever words are closest—not necessarily the most careful ones. Agreeing on that language before a crisis happens means staff won’t have to search for the right words while they’re also navigating the emotions of shock and grief. They can also teach students better language in the moment.
Suicide prevention is often measured by what happens during the most visible moments of crisis. Yet most of the work of suicide prevention happens before those moments in the culture schools create every day. The language adults use is one part of that culture. It can communicate judgment or curiosity, silence or openness, uncertainty or support.
Staff members don’t have to get every sentence right but using considerate language as a part of suicide prevention could impact lives for the better.
Dr. Amy Grosso
Recommended Resource
Suicides aren’t caused by a single event. The more understanding staff have about the complexities that cause students to consider or attempt suicide, the more they’ll be able to help students before a crisis unfold. Discover how with our free guide to understanding and preventing K-12 suicides.
